As a child, one of my favorite activities was going outside on a nice sunny day and blowing bubbles. The best time to do it was early spring; the 40-50º (f) weather seems to reach out and pull you by the hand that time of year. The snow is mostly melted and the sun is no longer a winter sun. The brightness just looks like summer. I would run onto the porch and lift the green wooden top that covers a large croc. Inside I had my my sidewalk chalk and a large jug of bubbles. I remember it’s pink exterior and long yellow wand hidden inside. I could spend hours with the bubbles. Most of the time I was reenacting the scene from Cinderella and singing “Sweet Nightingale” while pretending to wash the sidewalks.
Bubbles took a break from my life for a few years. I outgrew playing Cinderella and my pink jug of bubbles became empty. I was making new friends and learning new games to play outside. Little did I know that bubbles would play a huge role in my life, and it wasn’t always a good role. Once I started getting quite sick with my Tourette Syndrome, OCD, and Anxiety, my life no longer revolved around making friends. My life revolved around surviving a day at school without a breakdown emotionally or physically with my tics. I didn’t realize other people didn’t understand my situation or that they were confused by my actions. My illness kept me in a safe bubble away from society. Did you catch that? A safe bubble. I never knew that was a bad thing.
Being in a bubble made life manageable for me. In school, I was allowed to take breaks to release my tics, I was given extra homework time, I had a mom that was able to do homework along side of me, and I was not given detention if my homework wasn’t finished. At home, I didn’t have to do any chores, my mom helped me brush my teeth, take my showers, get dressed, and go out. Even though I needed all this extra help, it is a main reason why I recently went into residential treatment. Deep down I was afraid to leave this safe bubble and return to society. To this day, doing everyday tasks such as cleaning my room, brushing my teeth, putting together my own dinner, and so on, gives me anxiety. Having left residential treatment and returning home, my bubble has been popped. I’m dealing with daily tasks all day, everyday, and am overcoming the anxiety that comes along with it. Soon I will be returning to school, and knowing that there is no bubble to go back to is pretty scary. I think I can handle it. I have the skills, I know the program, and I know that if I keep fighting, one day the anxiety won’t be there.
~ Stay Chipper ~
Incase you didn’t catch it, I’m finally home from treatment!!! I’m very excited and will be talking about how I feel about it in my next post, so keep an eye out next week!
I am going to start posting on a schedule now that I’m home. I’m planning on posting every Monday at 9:00 am EST.
Don’t forget! I love getting emails! Keep em’ coming! Chipperchelseakay@gmail.com