How I Held Myself Back

Life is a time in which we have the opportunity to learn about ourselves. I know for me, I learned the most about myself when I was struggling. However, it took patience, mistakes, and professional guidance for me to understand my faults and turn them into life lessons.

With my Anxiety, Depression, and OCD, there were many thoughts and emotions concocted by my brain to try and hold me back. I know now the reason why; in my subconscious, I did not want to face the real world. I did not want to put forth any effort. I did not really want to go to school, showers were a lot of work, and why go outside when I could stay in my bed? But the outside world makes its demands and requires you to put forth effort. My brain did not like that. It worked hard to “protect” me. It created emotions and reactions that would prevent (we’ll talk about this in a moment) me from completing those tasks. Once the tasks failed to be completed, I was unable to live a healthy independent life on my own. 

When I received treatment, one of the first concepts we worked on was stopping me from saying “I can’t”. 

“I can’t take a shower”

“I can’t go to school”

“I can’t brush my teeth”

Those statements were not true. Although I thought they were, I was quickly corrected. 

“You can take a shower…you’re just going to experience negative emotions”

“You can go to school…you’re just going to experience distress”

“You can brush your teeth…but it won’t be easy, at least not at first”

I could do those actions physically. Emotionally, saying it would be hard was an understatement, but emotions can not physically hold you back. Emotions are not something that can control you. They can feel powerful and bring up a lot of negative thoughts and feelings, but they can not control you. Just because your brain says “This is scary” or “I can’t do that” doesn’t mean it’s true. I can do it, but I will feel scared. Fear, however, can not stop me from completing tasks. I just need to have the tools to take small steps to overcome it. After a time -as well as many small steps towards my goal- I will realize I CAN do it, and it wasn’t that bad! 

It is definitely not an overnight process and those small steps will not be easy to complete. But you can do it. Nothing but yourself is holding you back. You CAN do it! Best of luck. You’ve got this! ❤

~ Stay Chipper Friends ~


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